Let’s talk about Titanic. The legendry film, which somehow won the Academy Award for Best Picture, is full of cheesy, stupid and funny lines. Only on re-watching Titanic recently did I realise how silly some of the lines are, and found myself laughing out loud, when writer and director James Cameron’s intention was probably to have the audience weeping into their popcorn.
Titanic has taken a journey itself (pun intended) with its success. On its release, the film was very popular with audiences, and became one of the highest grossing films in cinema history. This popularity slowly died down, but with the 3D re-release of Titanic in 2012, the film suddenly burst back into cinemas for a whole new generation to discover.
The film was labelled as a future classic during its initial release, and is now certainly a classic. What comes with being a classic film? Some classic lines!
Let us dive into some of the silliest and funniest quotes in the 3 hours and 14 minutes that is Titanic;
Rose: “To me it was a slave ship, taking me back to America in chains.”
Slave ship? If a slave ship means caviar and champagne for dinner, a private promenade deck and a maid to bring you absolutely anything you want at any moment, where do I sign up!?
Cal: “Something Picasso? He won’t amount to a thing. He won’t, trust me.”
Clever trick by the screenwriter to foreshadow the future and show us how stupid Cal is. Massive character cliché. We get it, he’s an idiot.
Tommy: “Ah, forget it, boyo. You’re as like to have angels fly out of your arse as get next to the likes of her.”
Right, so how can we make Tommy sound more Irish than he already is? I’ve got it! Add in ‘boyo’ and make the audience not have a clue what he just said – sorted! (I wish I was as happy as the jolly Irish folks dancing in third class are!)
Rose: “It’s so beautiful. So vast and endless. They’re so small, my crowd. They think they’re giants; they’re not even dust in Gods eyes.”
Jack: “Well, Rose, I think I can see why this silly line will end up in the deleted scenes…”
Jack: “That fire that I love about you, Rose, that fire is gonna burn out.”
Jack, you have known each other like 48 hours. Let’s just cool it down a bit, okay?
Rose: “I’m flying, Jack!”
Are you? Yesterday you were in a similar pose, about to kill yourself. Now you’re flying?
Rose: “When the ship docks, I’m getting off with you.”
Wait, didn’t you just get off with Jack in the back of that car? Oh… you mean get off the ship with Jack. I see.
Rose: “I saw the iceberg, and I see it in your eyes. Please tell me the truth.”
Cal: “Where are you going? To him? To be a whore to a gutter rat?”
Rose: “I’d rather be his whore than your wife!”
Secretly, I think I actually love this line, and I want an excuse to use it one day;
Checkout guy: ‘That will be £4.51, please.’
Me: ‘I’d rather be his whore than your wife!’
Checkout guy: ‘Huh?’
Rose: [the ship is sinking] “Jack, this is where we first met.”
Rose, the ship is sinking, and you are about to plunge into freezing water; Jack has got more important things to worry about right now.
Rose: “I’ll never let go, I promise.” [lets go of Jack’s hand]
Okay, Rose, can you tell me what you did wrong there?
Rose: “A woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets.”
*stares blankly at the screen*
You may assume from the cynical tone of this piece that I hate the film. That isn’t true, and in fact I am actually quite fond of the film. I mean no offence to Titanic nerds (being one myself). James Cameron may be the master of cheese, but in Titanic, he has given us a film treasured by many, and perhaps laughed at by many more.
One thing that James Cameron cannot be forgiven for; the amount of times that Jack and Rose say each other’s names throughout. Whose name do you think is said more; Jack or Rose?
Rose = 75
Jack = 84
Looks like Jack has won. After all, he is the ‘KING OF THE WORLD!’
(You didn’t think that line would be left out, did you?)
Read the article at culturedvultures.com